Softly, Softly

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a Christmas poem by Marilee Melvin

Softly, softly,

the truth came.

(slow motion salt ocean waves rolling

spreading moving inland,

filling caves and coves and foaming white at breaker’s edge)

No one would have seen it,

No one could have heard it,  

                        But there was one bright star,                        

And angels sang.

(sunset over the ocean all at once too grand,

                                    too glorious for anything but silence;

                sunbursts into sanguine skies: purple pushes

stone silence

into hearts all human and humble)

The truth is hard to our hard hearts.

The best is yet to come:

                Word become flesh,

and dwell among us.

 

Surviving the Holidays

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Memories linger in holiday rituals--picking out the Christmas tree, the ornaments you bought on vacation, the cookies she baked and wrapped for neighbors--and now the first Christmas without your wife or your mother or your husband or perhaps a child. You can barely discern the light of the season but you know it's there because the light shines in the darkness and the darkness doesn't overcome the light, even the darkness of grief and loss. Diane Neptune shares perspectives from GriefShare.

If you have recently lost a loved one, you are likely experiencing a jumble of emotions that you have  yet to sort out. Facing a holiday after the death of a loved one can be more difficult than your friends and family members may realize. GriefShare has provided a video which outlines some basic principles to follow to find strength, healing and tools to move forward in your daily walk through the deep pain of grief. For example:

  • Being prepared for surprising emotions that may hit over the holidays
  • What to do about traditions and other coming changes
  •  How to handle Christmas parties and invitations
  • How to survive potentially awkward moments with other people
  • Where to find comfort, strength and hope in a seemingly hopeless time

A few years ago, you probably found yourself complaining about the hectic nature of the Christmas season. There were numerous programs to sit through, countless gifts to buy and way too many parties to attend. If you even had time to think about what you wanted for Christmas, your list would have been short: fewer places to be and more money to spend.

But now that you might be wrestling with grief this season, you’d gladly take those busy times over what you’re going through now. That’s because no matter whom you have lost, the holidays are a constant reminder that he or she isn’t with you anymore. And with the holiday season lasting over a month, the pain seems to last forever.  So what’s the best advice for making it through the holidays?

Focus on the true meaning of Christmas.

While that may sound like a cliché, focusing on the true meaning of Christmas can actually be a surprising source of comfort.  It leads directly to hope and pervasive healing. Let’s look at three reasons why.

Reason 1: At Christmas, Jesus came to end all suffering.

God sees all the problems in the world, including yours. And he has promised ultimately to fix them. To do this, he sent Jesus to carry out a plan to end all suffering. At Christmas, we celebrate Christ’s entrance into the world to do that, Because of what Jesus came to do, the Bible tells us that one day there will be no more tears.

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying. . . 'There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!” (Revelation 21:3-5b)

We can be absolutely certain that one day, there will be no more disease, no more tragedy, no more suffering, no more death. That’s a reason for hope and celebration!

Reason 2: At Christmas, Jesus came to deal with the source of our suffering.

As part of God’s plan to fix what is wrong with the world, he’s going to do more than stop disease, famines and natural disasters; he is also going to renew people. And yes, we all need to be renewed. Why? Because the same thing that causes all the world’s problems is the same thing that causes us to be selfish, bitter, unforgiving, unfaithful and unreasonable. The Bible calls it sin. The Bible also teaches us that sin affects everything: our thinking, our relationships, our environment and our health.

In addition to creating problems in your life, your own sin is a barrier to having a relationship with God. It also prevents you from experiencing the comfort and healing that he offers you. This comfort and healing is especially important to you as you grieve. The good news is that, at Christmas, Jesus came to offer a way to remove that barrier. Here’s how he did it.

God says sin is such a serious offense that it must be punished by eternal separation from Him. But since God loved us so much, he sent Jesus to earth to live a sinless life and to take the punishment for our sins by dying on the cross. Three days later, he rose from the dead. This was the only righteous way to defeat sin and death and to pave the way for the tear-free world God has promised in the future. But knowing what Jesus came to do is not enough to experience the benefits.

Reason 3: This Christmas the gift is available to you.

Just as a Christmas present only becomes yours as you receive it, the gifts of forgiveness and a new life in Christ Jesus only become yours as you receive him by faith. God offers you this gift of a relationship with him, a relationship that allows you to experience the healing and comfort that you desperately need, and a relationship that guarantees an eternity spent with Him in the perfect, tear-free reality that He’s designing for you.

You may have worries that you do not deserve to be forgiven by God, that your sin is too “bad.”  No matter what you’ve done, you can be forgiven! His love goes beyond anything you have ever experienced. He loves you without conditions. And if you enter into a relationship with Him, He accepts you because of what Christ did for you, not because of anything you have done or ever will do.  As God's Word reminds us:

“He saved us, not because of righteous things we have done, but because of his mercy.” (Titus 3:5a)

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast”. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

I hope by now you can see why focusing on the true meaning of Christmas can be so comforting. At Christmas, we celebrate the gift of Jesus. His birth marks a new chapter in God’s plan to end our suffering and save us from our sin. So, if you’re discouraged during the holidays, remind yourself that the baby Jesus came to heal your heart, and this world. Because of him, one day there will be no more suffering. And even right now, in the middle of your hurt and suffering, Jesus wants to be a part of your life, comfort you and help you heal.

If this is your first Christmas without your loved one or the second, third or more, the pain of the holidays may still be very fresh for you. Our GriefShare group meets every Monday night at College Church, and we come together to share experiences of grief and turn mourning into joy. Please join us, you are always welcome.

Thanksgiving Eve One Year Later: Lizzy

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Lizzy reflects on a year full of growing, learning and God's healing.

It has been almost a year and a half since my boating accident that almost caused me to lose my foot. It has been a long year since this video was shot, but it also has been a year full of growing, learning and God's healing.

I am now able to fully walk and run. I am currently playing basketball at school and club soccer. I still have limitations and my leg is not as strong, but it just feels amazing to be playing at all. God is truly good!

God has taught me so many things this past year and a half. He has taught me to trust him in all circumstances. I am now running and playing sports, but it has been a long road to get here. Through this, God has graciously and constantly been reminding me that I need to trust him and his plans.

There, of course, have been setbacks. I still struggle a lot with not being able to do things as well as I did, and this has made me question if God is really in control. But God never fails to show me that he is faithful. I can look back and see where I was and realize all that God has brought me through.

God also has been reminding me to praise him for everything and in all circumstances! There have been so many amazing victories that have happened over the past year.  Sometimes I forget that these victories are not because of me. A lot of times I fail to give God the credit and to praise him for his wondrous works. He never fails to remind me to humble myself.

Through the hardships and the joys that have come throughout this recovery process, God has shown me that he is faithful, trustworthy and my healer. Only he deserves my praise!

 

Thanksgiving Eve One Year Later: Laura

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"God is good, all the time," declares Laura as she looks back a year later. "It was just as true on July 30, 2013, the day of Lizzy's accident, as it is right now." Here is a mother's heart as she sees God's goodness in her daughter Lizzy's life.

The obvious evidence of God's hand and his presence with Lizzy has continued to amaze our family this past year. No one ever chooses pain and suffering, but holding fast to the truth that God is a good God allows me to continue trusting him for her future and to face the day-to-day mountains and valleys that come with the road of recovery.

Last Thanksgiving, Lizzy was in a boot and not allowed to point her foot down and only put very little weight on her injured foot. The doctors were hoping the tendons would continue to heal and build up good scar tissue. Lizzy eventually graduated to a more more flexible brace and continued intense physical therapy focused on strengthening the muscles in her lower leg and foot. The road has seemed long at times, and for an athlete like Lizzy, very tedious.

But God keeps showing us his presence in our lives and his power to heal!

In June, Scott and I watched her play summer league high school basketball, and in September, she scored three goals in one game at a soccer tournament. In and of themselves, these accomplishments really aren't that important, but it's what they represent to our family: God's continued miraculous healing!

Over the last year, I have learned that prayer is powerful. God heard our prayers and the prayers of so many others and chose to heal Lizzy. We continue to be sobered by the many, many people who interceded for us on her behalf. To be a part of the body of Christ is both amazing and humbling. I am so grateful that I have not had to walk this trial alone.

Thanksgiving Eve One Year Later: Heather

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A year later, Heather reminds us that while cancer is still ugly, it cannot derail the hope she has in Christ. 

This past year has brought with it the wonderful news and awful news of my mom's cancer being removed and then returning. Cancer is ugly as my family has discovered on this journey that none of us would have chosen. The pain is real and raw, both the emotional and the physical. 

Spiritually, pain challenges our hope. It would be easy to let this kind of pain derail the hope we have in Christ. But the fact remains that he has not changed. He is still the loving God who hears us. He is still right by our side, comforting, protecting and guiding. And, graciously, he is the one who is preparing for us "an eternal weight of glory," not worth comparing with this earthly affliction. 

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.... as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16, 18

Thanksgiving Eve One Year Later: Megan

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Take another look at the Thanksgiving Eve video and read what Megan has discovered this year about pressure points and Jesus as her sole security.

The main theme of my testimony of thankfulness last year was that loving God and trusting his sovereignty are possible and for our good, even in the midst of uncertainty about the future. In my story, the particular pressure points of uncertainty were job searching and deciding whether to live in Wheaton or relocate after finishing grad school. Although, by God's grace, I have continued to grow in love and knowledge of God this past year, it is still difficult for me to trust him when I cannot pinpoint the next step ahead of me, whether it's a job move, a new relationship or even where to invest my time in ministry in the local church. Even though it indeed is possible and for my good to trust God, it requires me daily, even hourly, to redirect my thoughts and affections to God's love for me when I am feeling anxious about something.

In the midst of changing circumstances, my aim is to trust in Jesus as my sole security. When I feel fearful or anxious about the future, I use those times to ask myself what idols or untruths about the Lord I am clinging to instead of believing that God will take care of all my needs. I have also been learning more about the pattern in the Christian life of praying in hope and then waiting in patience for God to act for us, trusting in His promise in Isaiah that "they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.” What an awesome promise! May God help us so that our hearts would fully trust in His character as revealed in His Word.