On my first trip to England, I observed that everywhere we went, people said, “Sorry.” For someone who habitually says “I’m sorry” for all things big and small, I loved being surrounded by a whole bunch of other people—78% of the country according to recent research—who habitually said sorry. “I could live here,” I declared to my husband, right before bumping into someone on the street. “Sorry,” I breathed out reverentially.

In the country where I do live, I occasionally say sorry instead of excuse me when I accidentally bump into someone or cut in from of them in the aisle at Jewel. And the response to my sorry is what I love about this country, “Oh, no, you’re fine. Don’t worry.” Apology accepted and grocery shopping continues.

Life doesn’t always imitate grocery store aisles. It’s hard to forgive when hurts run deep and wrongs haven’t been righted. It’s hard to say, “Forgive me. I was wrong,” without making excuses.

Dr. Fred Luskin, developer and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, pointed out that forgiveness doesn’t happen immediately—people need time to grieve and “sit in the muck of unhappiness and suffering.” Sometimes a person can spend a long time, even a lifetime, in such a state, but there can be a sure way out.

Divine forgiveness transcends human forgiveness, and yet the divine chose to enter Adam’s race and sit in our muck of unhappiness and suffering—and to redeem and forgive this rebellious lot he created. We also need to sit in the muck and unhappiness of the sin of our own making because when we do, we are blessed, ready to receive God’s favor and mercy.

On his website, Tim Challies posted an article, “It Has To Be Dark Before We Can See.” (September 20, 2021, www.challies.com) In it, he wrote, “To know the hand of comfort we need to know the pain of sorrow. To know the bright light of God’s blessing we must first know the dark shadow of our own depravity. For it is only when we admit who we truly are that God reveals what he truly loves to do, only when we admit ourselves to be lost that he reveals himself as the one who saves.”

Think about the woman caught in adultery. Even to this day, we know her by her sin, but Jesus knew her heart and the hearts of her self-righteous accusers. They weren’t looking for forgiveness, and perhaps the woman wasn’t either. But who received grace? John 8:1-12 tells us. “Jesus stood up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.’”

As those who have experienced God’s forgiveness, we are to forgive as he has forgiven us. It doesn’t mean that everything will be tidy and turn out the way we hope, but it does mean that we can exchange our hurting hearts for compassionate hearts.

When we tell God "Sorry," when we turn from our sins and embrace new life in Christ, we can replace bitterness with kindness, pride with humility, and anger with gentleness and patience, as we wait for the day Jesus returns, when all will be well and at rest.