I have been experiencing clogged ears on and off this summer, related I think to my sinuses. It’s not painful, but the clogging makes it hard to hear people. It can be comical on a day when I hear out of only one ear. Lorraine does her best to try to remember which side of my head to speak to. And then there’s the wonderful morning when I wake up and can hear without the clogged ear syndrome, clear as normal. Ahh, relief. Just normal hearing from both ears feels remarkably good.

Hearing is a good thing. God gave us ears. With them, we hear great pieces of music, books on tape, words of love from those closest to us, the preaching of the Word of God, or necessary instructions from a boss or coworker. Maybe it’s because of sinuses, or maybe it’s helping Alta get going on the deaf ministry, but I’ve been thinking about hearing and listening.

A recent article in Forbes magazine explains two counterproductive things people do when they listen to others.

The first is listening for new information. That sounds fine on one level, but it undercuts the person speaking to you.. It’s like scanning an article online looking for content you don’t already know. You aren’t really reading just as you aren’t really listening.

The second is listening to hear whether the person agrees with you. Usually, people tend to tune out a person they perceive as not agreeing with them. We tend to listen only if we perceive the person to be in agreement with us on whatever issue is being discussed.

The author of the article calls these “self-focused goals” and claims that such approaches lead to a shorter attention span and a failure to truly connect with the people with whom we speak. Though common, lazy listening can have dire consequences in the workplace.

The Forbes article quoted a study that found that a group of doctors facing lawsuits listened to their patients description of their symptoms for an average of eleven seconds. This in contrast to another group of doctors with zero lawsuits whose average listening to their patients was greater than three minutes. Malpractice and people leaving a doctor’s care worse than when they started—not exactly an endorsement to superficial listening.

Proverbs 18:13 warns us: “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

This kind of thing happens to all of us—we listen but we don’t hear.

We’re the distracted parents who say yes to our child’s request without realizing that we just agreed to a birthday party at Disney World for said child and his ten closest friends.

We’re the ones in the Sunday service who take notes during the sermon, and we look down and see points one and three. What happened to point two? That’s when thoughts of lunch took over and our listening went on pause.

Or we’re the ones sitting across from close friends as they pour out their hearts, only to glance up from our phones and say, “Sorry, what was that again?”

What about during small group prayer time, and you lose track of what requests have been prayed for and what ones are still unchecked—and you are the leader.

Bad listening examples abound. Listening is important when it comes to the workplace as the Forbes article warns, but it’s especially crucial interpersonally and in the church.

With the people around us, we need to both listen and hear.

I’ve been making excuses in this area, blaming my bad listening on this multi-tasking texting scanning scrolling speed-reading age in which we live. It’s true. We have more good excuses for not listening than ever before in history. That sounds convincing, don’t you think? It's just the age in which we l ive.

When Jesus says in Matthew 11:15, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear” I know he’s talking about people listening and hearing the truths he’s preaching.

But there’s something else going on with the family of God. What happens when we stop listening to “the least of these”? Or what holy and wonderful things might happen when we do listen?

“Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them,” wrote Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book Life Together. “It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him.

“…Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking where they should be listening. But he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God too.”

If God can use our ears to hear the heart of other people, how can we be deaf to the call to listen to one another?

As I begin a new season of church life, I want to listen better—to the kids in Kindergarten, to the people praying, to the people I’m praying for, to the pastor preaching, to my wife. I want to listen to them as I want to be listened to myself. I want to make good use of the ear God has lent me to hear as he hears from those in need.

God guide us to be a community of slow-to-speak people who hear and listen.

“Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it.
Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors” Proverbs 8:34, 35