No Retreat, No Return by Lorraine Triggs
A few years ago, professional football player Aaron Rodgers went on a darkness retreat to help him shed some light on his future in the NFL, which turned out to be with the New York Jets rather than the Green Bay Packers. Back in January, Rodgers didn’t need to retreat to darkness—a multi-million-dollar contract with the Steelers made do instead.
Though not as well-known as Rodgers’ retreat, writer Chris Colin went on a three-day darkness retreat in Connecticut. He wrote about his experience for the New York Times Magazine, “’You’re going to lose your mind:’ My Three-Day Retreat in Total Darkness” (October 21). Colin’s retreat guide was Lama Justin von Bujdoss, a Buddhist chaplain at one time for the entire New York Department of Corrections.
To get away from the horrors of his job, especially at the notorious Rikers Island Correctional Facility, von Bujdoss built a cabin designed for isolation and total darkness. Wrote Colin, “When he finally tested the space, sitting in darkness for a week, it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced.”
Colin continues, “On the last day of von Bujdoss’s trial run, a corrections officer died at Rikers. Emerging from darkness, von Bujdoss stepped back into duty: comforting the man’s family, handling logistics and donning his uniform to attend the funeral at a Bronx church. It was while the bagpipers played ‘Amazing Grace’ and the coffin was borne to the hearse that he heard a whisper in his mind: Return to the dark.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at that. “I once was lost, but now I’m found, was blind but now I see,” penned John Newton, a purveyor of darkness himself until he encountered amazing grace—oh no, there was no returning to the dark for John Newton.
We don’t need to retreat to darkness; what we need, and have, is deliverance from it.
As Christ followers, we would never return to darkness but, depending on the darkness, we can react to it, run from it or reject it, but we cannot let the darkness define us. We don’t answer darkness with darkness, anger with anger, hatred with hatred, pride with pride—the transactions of the domain from which God delivered us.
The language of John 1:1-5 echoes the creation language of light and darkness in Genesis 1. It was into the darkness and void that God spoke: “‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” Hundreds and hundreds of years later, light again entered the chaos and darkness of now sinful humanity, bringing with it not only light but also life to all who had been sitting in darkness.
In Ephesians 5:8-9, Paul reminds us that “at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true).” Walk as children who imitate the Son, God of God, light of light, full of grace and truth. It is his light that exposes the darkest corners of our sinful souls; his grace that covers them with mercy and forgiveness—which was the Father’s plan before he said, “Let there be light,” and still is his plan until we dwell in the city where there is “no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb.” (Revelation 21:23)